Surprises that follow after the baby comes do not have to be unpleasant. Prepare a quality conversation ...
"Working on the baby" men is a natural thing, but rarely know what to do with them at the moment actually arrives. Postpartum shock is not unique to dads - and new mothers often do not initially know what to do with themselves, let alone with a baby in the family! Women do have a natural advantage: maternal instincts unerringly guide them through difficult situations.Men however have only fatherly pride and the inherent need for watching football twice a week.This you will agree, is not exactly practical.
Then there is the problem with expectations. One of the biggest challenges for new parents face is actually the difference between their notions of parenthood and - to reality. The matter is further complicated when the parents have different expectations - this can cause new headaches. If not Prevent potential problems and reconcile their desires and views on parenting, at the time when the baby arrives, rather than bring the extra, you will become more and more foreigners. And this is the last thing to your little family!
Extract the time to talk. You need to talk openly about their hopes, fears and concerns related to the baby's arrival. And despite all the individual problem with which they face, and be sure to pass these six important areas before you start your small family idyll.
1. Big day - does he know what is your birth plan
Now should already know what kind of birth you want, but it is important to understand that his key role to support you. Even if you have a detailed birth plan (no drugs, only the sound of water and a vote of whales), he must know that things might change. Be sure to tell him what you want to do if you start yelling "I want an epidural NOW!", Whether the baby received vitamin K orally or by injection and the first who should get good news.
2. Visits- how do you deal with many visitors?
Nothing is written in stone, but some agreement on how to deal with visitors must exist. To become a real family, you have to spend time alone, and that usually means setting boundaries.Let your partner plays a bit a police officer. Do not be so bad, but when you give him your secret sign for the "sad but I really really tired," should be a decent way to ensure that subsequent to soon "bye." Here you should look patronizing, not ungrateful, it is especially important when it comes to the grandmothers, grandfathers and other future babysitter (ca) ma. You can arrange for a confidential character or word - it is a practical solution that will also come together as a couple extra.
3. Maternity leave - whether on maternity and daddy, and how long?
The first weeks impose furious pace that rarely that mom can take it. Women are very vulnerable this time, any support is welcome and is an ideal partner if you can stay with you for at least the first two weeks. This conversation should not leave the last minute because it was something that he must discuss with your employer. Do not forget to medical appointments and ultrasound, if you want to be with you. And be sure to discuss with a partner to make this his little maternity should look, because many newly imagined how dads spend two weeks in a local cafe drinking with your friends.
4. Housework- as they are now distributed?
If he thinks that the child care and house your business, and you are hoping for an equitable distribution of duties, you have nothing to talk about. You can always negotiate, but the rough plan of distribution of responsibilities and assignments must exist. Who will cook? How will you arrange night duty? When anyone has a right to a well deserved break? Try to devise a schedule that will allow both the minimum needed sleep. The most important thing is to talk about it and after birth, because there will only be a serious topic for discussion. If you are open to communicate and express feelings, half have already come a time.
5.Envy - can you give enough attention and dad and baby?
Well, this might be a tricky situation. I do not want to offend partners by suggesting that he might be jealous of his own newborn child, but certainly you have to discuss it before the baby comes - will be easier to deal with that problem later. Do you know your partner well, you know how to access it, but here is a universal maneuver - to tell your partner you were a little jealous if a girl is born, which will immediately become a daddy's little princess. You'll see how it will react to this idea. This is the conversation that you can not force it, because maybe your partner is really jealous type, and perhaps more profoundly unaware that it could become. In any case, it is good to express concern about the new appointment - tell him that you fear that you will not have enough time for you two, at least in the first weeks. Use the time you have and focus on each other, plan a romantic weekend for two days and escape from it all. So you both know that your relationship is still high on the priority list.
6th Sex - Are you ready for a change?